Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
