i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
