wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
honey bunches of taint.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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