i don't like sucking hair
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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