You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
