I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
