i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
