those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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