i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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