Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
