You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
