Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
