He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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