I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do vagina's smell?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
