I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
