I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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