I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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