Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
