bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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