my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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