If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
