never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
