I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
