What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
