Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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