i don't like sucking hair
Fuck appropriateness.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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