Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
