I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Even my vagina gasped.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
