in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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