Tell her she can't have a vagina
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
