So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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