I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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