I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
