It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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