Banned from zoo.
Again?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
