He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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