I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
