what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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