How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
