there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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