oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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