dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
