Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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