Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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