i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
