You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
