I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is my gift to your gina
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize