Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
