Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
