somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
