I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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