This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
